Better batten down the hatches, cuz Chuck Norris is coming, and you don’t wanna be caught off guard. While I definitely enjoyed Red Dawn, especially its metaphor for Big Ten sports, I think we can all agree that there was some room for improvement, perhaps most of all in acting.
Archive for February, 2009
2/26/09: Invasion U.S.A.
Posted in SBMN, tagged Chuck Norris, Invasion USA on February 26, 2009| Leave a Comment »
2/19/09: Crimson Tide
Posted in SBMN, tagged Crimson Tide, Denzel Washington, Gene Hackman, Hans Zimmer, James Gandolfini, Viggo Mortensen on February 19, 2009| Leave a Comment »
2/12/09: Desperado
Posted in SBMN, tagged Antonio Banderas, Cheech Marin, Desperado, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Salma Hayek, Steve Buscemi on February 12, 2009| Leave a Comment »
This week’s pick was for a long while shrouded in mystery, but that should be no reason for frustration. Smug Bastard transcends individual movies; it is the glow that we bask in, a light emanating from fundamental principles that can never get dated. Power. Skill. Manship. Mild Sauce.
As anyone who’s tried to procure a movie at a south side rental store knows, the selection can be very frustrating. That I avoided both Ice Cube and Raven Symone was an admirable feat. And now, the movie.
Let me get the first criticism out of the way: Desperado is a good movie. Robert Rodriguez has made some stinkers, but this one is legit. However, there’s plenty to enjoy that wasn’t intended: Tarantino trying to act, some terrible mustaches, Cheech, and a bad guy-second in command relationship that brings more sexual tension than a Bruce Pearl interview. We also get Salma Hayek, who–while certainly no slouch today–nearly caused my 17-year-old head to explode when I first saw the sex scene that will have smug bastards everywhere crossing their legs to avoid showing their broners.
I, on the other hand, will be wearing sweatpants.
SD