Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Smug Classics’ Category

Steven the garbage man.

Steven the garbage man.

I own two movie posters: Hoop Dreams (the greatest movie of all time), and Out For Justice.  Of the Four Great Steven Seagal Movies, it’s the one that gives me the most joy.  Sure, Under Siege is pretty much a perfect movie, and I’ve watched it at least 20 times.  Sure, Hard to Kill and Above The Law both bring their share of awesome fights, awkward sex scenes, and hilarious chill sequences.  But to me, Seagal hit his peak exactly two movies before he became a self parody.  

Out for Justice brings it from the very start and doesn’t quit until Seagal kicks the dog hater in the nuts.  The Italian-American “accent” employed throughout by Steven makes Al Pacino’s nonsense in Scarface sound authentic.  The key piece of evidence is a pornographic photo of Seagal’s murdered best friend cheating on his wife, and they’re literally smiling for the camera.  Gina Gershon has a cameo as the classic ornery-sex-worker-who-gets-talked-into-helping-the-good-guys, and that dude from Law & Order with the eyebrows fits in there somewhere.  

But to me, the best part is that we’re dealing with the best version of Seagal ever here.  He hadn’t gotten fat yet, and wasn’t afraid to let the guns breathe.  He had been in enough movies to start being joky and whimsical, but not yet annoying and preachy.  And best of all, he still moved well enough to do lots of great fight scenes, especially the two classic set-ups: the butcher shop and the bar.

Out For Justice brings all the stuff we love about Steven Seagal’s career with none of the shittiness of his direct-to-DVD crap.  Grab a brew, chow on some tips, put it on, and you’ll go to bed with a smile.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

 

You've gotta hand it to their marketing department.

You've gotta hand it to their marketing department.

So you’re young Patrick Swayze.  You’re the king of Smalltown High in Podunk, USA.  You spend your days tough-guying around with your little bro Chuck, and chumming it up with Mrs. McFly and Ferris’ sister.  

Then shit gets real.  

Paratroopers come and mow down your trig class with machine guns.  Somehow, tanks are everywhere and you’re on the run.  But what better way to take down a Soviet invasion than 8 annoying kids with guns and RPGs?

Red Dawn is an undeniable classic.  The early scenes of the invasion are riveting, the acting is terrible, and the script just won’t quit.  On the down side, it goes on too long, once La Résistance begins it’s pretty repetitive, and as much as I like watching Wolverines fail, the slow death of the gang is a little depressing.  That said, this movie brings so much to the table, I can’t fault it for licking a few dinner rolls.

Read Full Post »