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Posts Tagged ‘Cheech Marin’

"No! It's too sexy!""But I must." 

 

"No, Antonio! It's too sexy!" "But I must."

This week’s pick was for a long while shrouded in mystery, but that should be no reason for frustration.  Smug Bastard transcends individual movies; it is the glow that we bask in, a light emanating from fundamental principles that can never get dated.  Power.  Skill.  Manship.  Mild Sauce.

As anyone who’s tried to procure a movie at a south side rental store knows, the selection can be very frustrating.  That I avoided both Ice Cube and Raven Symone was an admirable feat.  And now, the movie.

Let me get the first criticism out of the way: Desperado is a good movie.  Robert Rodriguez has made some stinkers, but this one is legit.  However, there’s plenty to enjoy that wasn’t intended: Tarantino trying to act, some terrible mustaches, Cheech, and a bad guy-second in command relationship that brings more sexual tension than a Bruce Pearl interview.  We also get Salma Hayek, who–while certainly no slouch today–nearly caused my 17-year-old head to explode when I first saw the sex scene that will have smug bastards everywhere crossing their legs to avoid showing their broners.

I, on the other hand, will be wearing sweatpants.

SD

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